It’s common to want to feel a sense of belonging. When we belong, we are accepted as a member of a group. A sense of belonging is a normal human need. It is no different then the need for food and shelter. When you feel like you belong, you feel your life has value and you cope with your emotions better. Belonging gives you a sense that you can and are making a difference.
Sometimes though, we lose our sense of belonging. Once we lose this it can be very difficult to get it back.
This can be for a myriad of reasons. Traumatic events could influence a person’s self esteem and self-compassion. Trauma often leaves survivors feeling out of sync with the rest of the world. They feel lonely, overwhelmed, anxious, turmoil and emotional pain that creates a sense they are different. These traumatic events could be from a variety of reason. It could be an actual physical trauma. Emotional trauma from losing a friend or relative. Going though a divorce. All of these things can and will change your outlook and how you interact with others.
As humans we are social beings. Our relationship quality is affected by our mental, physical and emotional health. As researcher and author Brené Brown explains, “A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all men, women, and children. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong.”
Without a sense of belonging. People seem to lose part of themselves. It is a complex relationship. People need their alone time but they also need to have that sense of belonging and being a part of something more.
Regaining a Sense of Belonging
One way to help regain a sense of belonging is through kindness. Kindness releases the feel-good hormone. It makes you feel happier and improves your mood. Here are some ways to regain your sense of belonging.
- Contribute to the lives of others by offering to listen and be a sounding board for them. Sometimes someone just needs to be listened to. This not only brings them joy but will give you a feeling of connectedness.
- Have compassion for others who are different for you. Spend time helping others who are less fortunate, have different likes or needs than you.
- Let go of judgments that build walls. Instead focus on people by connecting with them. No one is perfect. We all have struggles.
- Be kind in your words and way of thinking. Use words that offer strength, compassion, acceptance and caring.
- Begin building healthy relationships with others using kindness. Healthy relationships are important to our sense of well-being. Help trauma survivors realize they are safe and secure by showing them kindness.
- Turn towards your partners for support during tough times.
- Give and receive compliments with kindness.
- Be compassionate of others who are suffering.
- Begin doing things that bring you joy. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Give your time at a soup kitchen.
- Be kind to yourself instead of always putting yourself down. Take a compliment for what it truly is – an act of genuine caring and kindness.
- Join groups or clubs that are interesting to you. Participate in discussions and be kind to those who are members.
We all want to feel like we belong. When our sense of belonging becomes affected and destroyed by trauma or other factors, we need to find a way to regain it.
Kindness to both yourself and others is one of the easiest ways to regaining your sense of belonging. This can help to give you a sense of accomplishment and put you on a path to set and meet your goals and dreams.
Follow us on Facebook
Read our Post on how tiny actions can have a huge impact.
Recent Comments